At times, our courage can be tested in real ways. We are called to task and whether or not we have the tenacity to evolve into better versions of ourselves is up to a certain quality in us that transcends mere motivation. It’s a stand and deliver gene that people are born with or not. Follow thru after the birth of an idea is as important as the idea itself, can define it for all time. And because we cannot tell each other how to specifically achieve our personal goals, love itself has to be the one thing that conquers all. But what happens when love dons a yellow belly?
I would like to open a discussion about compromise and sacrifice, because I fell for a man who lives and works 3,000 miles away from me. He hates his indentured servant jobs – he has two. He receives a modest salary, maintains a humble existence that includes care for a daughter he had out of wedlock. Because I have no children, I cannot know that particular brand of struggle.
I have always been a woman full of promise and potential. I strive for great things and have since I was a young girl. Sometimes, I achieve. Mostly, it’s perpetual problem solving. But I never stop throwing large chunks of wood onto my internal fire. There’s opportunity everywhere and seizing it eventually leads to progress. We have to keep evolving, or we stay stagnant and start stinking.
The thought of leaving my beautiful home and giving up the contacts I’ve made thru the years, my prospective company, my lifestyle, the projects I’ve been pushing for years, to move back to where I went to high school triggers the likes of the kind of depression that would surely require medication in a matter of months. Granted, my entire family lives where I grew up, and they are some of my favorite people in the world. But I left my hometown for a reason. Manifest Destiny. I have big things to accomplish that I cannot do from the safety of my mother’s bosom. It’s hard enough to accomplish. You need that healthy dose of fear to keep you on your toes.
What makes some people venture out into the world, deeming where they once ate lunch off a plastic tray just not enough? And i
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Kudos! Loquacious and compelling. I'm hoping not to get hooked, as it would make me feel like a stalker (what's Liddy doing right now?).
ReplyDeleteRegarding your geographical dilemna here is some unsolicited advice: Convince your boyfriend to move to Ca. He has much less to give up than you do. I've recognized your potential since you were a child and have followed your endeavors with envy, as yours is the type of life I would have liked to have led had I not let reality roadblocks distract me.
There is something to be said for the comfort of being with a trusted lover, in familiar surroundings, and knowing more or less what to expect on a day-to-day basis. It doesn't always suck. However, I see you playing June Cleaver in Patchogue in the same dream I see your dad climbing Mt. Everest. The Cubs will win a World Series before that happens.
Look up the poem "The Dash". I don't remember the author. It refers to the dash in between your birth date and your date of death on your tombstone. The dates aren't as important as the dash. The dash represents what you did with your life between the dates.
I believe it would be easier for him to move to CA, get a regular job, and adjust to life out there than for you to come back here and slowly but surely lose that spark that keeps your life fires burning. It'll be good for you to finally get a little grounded, have a home base and someone to grow old with, but don't let the home base become a prison, locking up your potential and your dreams. What a tragedy that would be.
Let me put this in Hollywood terms. Patchogue = Groundhog Day. Los Angeles = The Bucket List. Which movie (life) would you rather star in? We both know the answer to that one.
The brass ring awaits you.
Love, Wayne